Lucky?

So I'm still not "working". I try to justify my staying home by saying my kids still need me around. I'm not sure how much I really believed that to be true but when you're not crazy busy rushing from work to home, to this function or that one you have a little bit of time to think. I also have more time to read the paper, the internet and books of course. What I'm discovering is that I have pretty amazing kids. Why? Why are my kids so great? I nag them constantly about not cleaning up after themselves, get frustrated when they get poor grades and whine when I get no down time on the weekend because of their busy lives. What a pain they really are! I'd be so much better off if they would just grow up already. I admit I feel like this a lot. I might even say it out loud to them once in a while.

But occasionally moments come when none of that stuff matters. I was reading in the paper about a teen party where 35 kids were arrested for drinking. Some were caught driving and one kid was passed out in the bath tub with alcohol poisoning. In the middle of the night they called those parents on the phone to tell them their child was drunk at the police station. I am trying to imagine how I would feel getting that call. I remember a time when I was a teen that I was picked up by the police in the middle of the night. No, I hadn't been drinking but I was supposed to be spending the night at a friends house and we snuck out of the house and meet some boys. The police picked us up and drove us home. They had to knock on my parents window to wake them up. Was I a bad kid? I didn't think so. Was I a stupid kid? Oh yeah! But how did my parents feel? I honestly don't know. We never discussed it afterward and they are both gone now. I can imagine that they were worried for me. Worried that I would continue to make bad decisions and mess up my life.

I guess this is every parents worry. On Saturdays when I'm not uber busy with other stuff, I coach kids at a bowling center. My kids have been involved with this program for a number of years. It's a few blocks from the house I grew up in and while I turned out ok, (regardless of my forays in the middle of the night) I felt it prudent to seek a better location to raise my family. Suffice it to say that we live in a different area of town but this bowling center was part of my childhood and I wanted to share it with my kids. The families we come in contact with at the bowling center are diverse and interesting. Some families are close knit and bring all the cousins, aunts and uncles to support the kids. Some of the kids I've never met their parents. One of my fellow coaches is a great guy with a daughter of his own in the program. He's genuinely interested in helping kids and is outgoing and friendly. I enjoy talking to him and getting to know his family. He's divorced and raising his 15 year old daughter. I noticed a change in her about 1/2 way through last season. She's also very friendly and outgoing and still is. But one day she showed up with a piece of metal sticking out of her lip. I was a bit shocked that Dad would allow that. After talking to said dad, he just shook his head and said she came home with it one day and he wasn't happy about it but didn't know what to do about it. Over the months other changes showed up. The hair started turning colors and the pants were ripped in strategic places. When the hickies showed up, I got worried. I wanted to go over to her and shake her. Of course I didn't and I ignored it but last week dad told me that he didn't know what to do with her. She quit bowling. Seems partying is more fun, and doing drugs and having sex. I hope my horror didn't show on my face when he told me. It's not that I don't know kids do that stuff, of course they do. I was one of them. But as a parent, I can't imagine knowing anything worse about your child. How do you cope with that knowledge? How do you fix it? How did it happen?

This is when I realized that either I got extremely lucky with my kids or I'm doing something right. Even though I have mostly worked throughout my kid's lives, both my husband and I are flexible with our schedules. Someone is always home and available. We've encouraged them to do different things and pursue activities. Growing up, I was left alone often. I wasn't encouraged to do anything. I had a defining moment as a teen when I confronted my dad about it. I was angry and upset that I was basically ignored all my life. While I was not truly ignored, my feelings at the time were that they didn't care about me. They didn't come to my performances or my school functions. I was never pushed to do anything or to try to better myself. I realized that a kid isn't much different than an adult. We all have a need to feel useful, to have a purpose or something that we are good at. Just because a child doesn't work, doesn't mean that they can't have a purpose in life. So I used my feelings as a teenage to guide me as a parent. I know I'm not the easiest to live with and I often seem unfeeling or critical. I guess some behaviors are learned too young and are hard to change. I also know that while I made different choices than my parents did, there is no guarantee that my techniques would produce a better kid. I'm ok, aren't I? I guess they didn't screw up that badly!

I do get the occasional positive feedback from my kids. They like that I'm involved. They feel bad for the kids who's parents are too busy or not interested in coming to their bowling matches, concerts, gymnastics meets. They like that I will help them with their projects. They like that I'm approachable. They can talk to me about anything. They like our special moments together, either at the movies or on trips. They like the fact that I will take them to get pie when life sucks or when life is good. Pie is truly the secret to life, don't you know?

Even if they were strung out on drugs, engaged in illegal or illicit behavior I would still love my kids but I'm so eternally grateful that they are not doing any of those things! They are talented, kind, beautiful, smart, dedicated and amazing. Whether it was luck or by design, I don't care. But I sure am thankful.

Bowling Weekend

Essica had another weekend with back to back tournaments. Every month this year Junior Bowling Tour hosts two tournaments a weekend. We were in Vancouver for the first and just south of Portland for the second. While they are hosted back to back they are completely separate with scores starting over on day two. Usually it's the same kids both days as all the bowlers are obsessive and must get in as much tournament play as they can get. Essica is no exception. After last months win (Doubles with her friend Wes) she had a few goals that did not include winning again. She wanted to finish in the top 5 one day and lead at least one round.

Well she did not get her name on the leader board as she was struggling on Saturday. We did not think she would even qualify for semis but she did. 2nd to last! She was behind the leader by a good 60 - 70 pins. She had three games to make up the difference and qualify in the top 5 for finals. My friend, Linda showed up right before semi finals to watch. I think Essica was showing off. She bowled a 222, 199 and 202. Those scores jumped her from 13th to 1st. Top 5 bowl off in a step ladder format. So 5th bowls 4th, winner bowls 3rd and so on. Essica being the top seed only had to bowl one game. She capitalized on a mistake that the other bowler made and captured the win. It was very exciting and fun to share with Linda. She walked out with $200 added to her scholarship fund.


We stayed the night at my sister in laws house, left at 8 the next morning to head about 45 min south to the next tournament. Essica's goal for the day was to just lead a round. She's never done that. She always comes from behind so she just wanted to start off strong and bowl well early. It was a very tough sport shot today and all bowlers were struggling. She bowled with the same kids she bowled with Saturday. Ryan was the boy she beat for 1st and he was on her lanes as well. He started off very strong again. Essica also started off well and stayed in the top 5 but couldn't jump any higher. After the qualifying rounds, we knew she made the cut as she was still in the pluses. All she had to do was bowl about 170 to make the cut. Her first game was a 170. 2nd game a 129! She was freaking out. That dropped her into the minus and placed her 6th! She had to bowl about a 200 to make up for that. Luckily all the other top kids went minus that round too but it wasn't a fun place to be at that moment. I told her to get aggressive and fight for it. She likes to come from behind and this is her chance to do that. She went up with a new attitude then and slammed out a 223! We thought that would carry her to the 1st place slot again but Ryan managed to hang on to it this time. So Essica was 2nd and had to wait it out 2 rounds before she could bowl. She started off her first game really bad and was getting upset. I told her the same thing, be aggressive! It's never too late, so don't give up. She went up and knocked back 4 strikes and the other girl started struggling and Essica took the game with 15 pins to spare. :) The title match was between her and Ryan again. They stayed even through to the 6th frame when Essica left an open frame. Ryan struck and then he opened too. He ended up open in the 10th too and left the door open for Essica. She only needed to mark and get 8 but she pulled her arm and left a really ugly, hard to get mess. She freaked out and pulled her arm again and missed. So she walked out with 2nd and couldn't be much happier had she won. Total for Sunday was $115. So $315 for the weekend and two more plaques added to her trophy wall. Not a bad weekend. She also moved up the points ladder and should be in 2nd right behind Ryan who also won two titles this season and finished 2nd once also.

Essica has 3 high school matches this week. What with the snow and then the flooding we missed both high school matches and gymnastics meets. So we have a few to make up before the season ends at the end of the month. I believe we have this weekend off though. Whew!

In other bowling news, I bowled my Friday night league before we left for the weekend and I shot a 245, 202, 180. I broke the high series for women on my league so now I have both the high scratch game of 267 (I shot that two weeks ago) and the high series of 627. :)

Bubba has a make up gymnastics meet today and then another meet on Wed. She's working hard to get a vault. I believe the vault of the day will be a yurchenko with a 1/2 twist, no flip. We shall see. :)

Winter Wonderland

Oh the weather outside is frightful. And the fire is so delightful...... How can you not sing this song all day when you look outside your window and see this?
It's been blowing it since last week. When it will end is anyone's guess but the weather men predict we'll be back to our typical rainy 40ish Pacific Northwest weather by Christmas. Typical. Except this weather is anything but typical for us. We have very little experience driving in sludge like this. Of course if you're really lucky like us you'll live at the bottom of a big hill with no way out but up. The whole neighborhood is parked at the top and parking is a priceless commodity these days. If you've got 4 wheel drive you could make some extra Christmas money shuttling the frost bitten up and down the hill. Too bad we sold our 4 x 4 earlier this year. Why didn't Mr. Rainy spring for the 4 x 4 truck? For us, getting to the top of the hill is about a 6 block hike so I don't go out unless I have a coffee emergency.

I did step out a couple of times to snap a few pictures. We've been watching this little bird for the past week nibble on this last frozen apple.

And poor frosty couldn't handle his snow. Ever since he left the North Pole he can only take a few flakes before he's too drunk to stand up. This little blizzard was just too much.

Today we baked cookies for Christmas. Chocolate Chip and sugar cookies so far. Decorating the sugar cookies was a lot of fun.

The neon food coloring turned out to be a hit.

The girls asked for Christmas music to set the mood.

Ricky did an Adam and Eve version of the Ginger Bread Boy.

Here are a few of the finished products. Notice the Purple and Gold? School spirit even during the holiday break.

Posing with their favorites.