Doldrums

Ok, so I had to look that up to make sure 1) I was spelling it right which I did not. Who knew doldrums wasn't dulldrums? (I thought that was the whole point, they were dull!) 2) To make sure it was a real word. It's an old fashioned term but it really is real not just something my Dad used to say. Dictionary.com has this to say:

Doldrums:
a state of inactivity or stagnation, or a dull, listless, depressed mood; low spirits
The Synonyms are depression, gloom, melancholy, dejection

Aha! Melancholy jumped out at me. I guess this would accurately describe my mood lately. I've been pondering the why of it. I've concluded that it often happens in times of change. I see life changing and it's my way of not dealing with it. On one hand I love change but the changes that are happening around me I have no control over. My kids all have birthdays in Spring and Summer and then the end of another school year is coming up fast. Both of these remind me that another year flew by and I can't remember where it went! What did I do? Who did I see? Did I accomplish anything? I hate to set goals for myself and never do New Year's resolutions because I don't want to set myself up for failure. I guess I'm the glass is half empty type person. I want so badly to be the glass is half full person but I know in my heart I am not and that makes me sad. So I look back at a year and think, what was I supposed to do this year? How do I feel about it? I'd like to think I did some really cool thing or helped someone in some significant way, appreciated my kids or husband more than usual or been a better mother and wife but I just don't see how I was any different than normal. Sigh.

So how do you snap out of the doldrums?

By shopping of course! Friday brought the lovely summer weather we've been waiting for, so it was time for a new summer hair cut. I went all out and splurged by going to the hair place in the mall. Some hair product, new curling iron and $100 later was it worth it? Doubtful. With all that sun shinning down it was more apparent than ever the neglectful state of my yard. Flowers were quickly added to my shopping list. Unfortunately flowers never just arrive and magically get put into place. But the truth is I use them for motivation. It's the only way I can push myself outside to clean up around the yard and weed. I spent way too much money on them and then left them out front where I have to see them when I come and go. After a day or two they started to look bit pathetic and my motivation was building. So Sunday when the weather was not quite so hot I woke up and mustered my courage to tackle the yard. I cleaned the front porch, mowed the front yard, dumped the old flower pots filled them with new dirt and started planting. By noon I was tired, hungry and hot but the front of the house looked pretty nice.

Nothing lifts a girl's spirit better than clothes shopping. The girls and I spent Sunday afternoon at the mall. We spent 4 hours trying on summer clothes and dresses. With my wallet much lighter and my arms much heavier we had lunch and then the girls did a movie. If I'd sat still for 2 hours in a darkened theater the only thing I would of seen was the inside of my eyelids.

A guy's way of cheering up? How about a new truck? Mr. Rainy finally took the plunge and traded in our old Ford Expedition. While it was great when we bought it, the years have taken it's toll and it was time. While I might mourn it a bit I won't mourn the money it cost me in gas. In March we traded in Mr. Rainy's small truck for my snazzy red PT Cruiser. It's been a lot of fun and I guess Mr. Rainy was a bit jealous. For years he's been wanting one of those beefy, loud trucks that can haul a small house. It's some kind of Ford F250 Diesel whatever. All I know is it's big, red and rumbles but it makes him smile like a little boy with a new video game, which is what Ricky received to get out of the winter funk.

So the doldrums have been beaten back and that whole part about what have I done all year, have I been a good person, blah, blah, blah? BS pure and simple. Who really cares? Sometimes I just think way too much. All I really wanted an excuse to spend money!